The evening started with frustration. Many nights I expect that my husband will be home sooner, and this early evening was no exception. Alex had a deposition, which is a rarity- and I expected or rather hoped that this appointment would last about an hour and then perhaps he could come home early. The deposition started at 3 p.m. and the lawyers had the appointment at his office. I made dinner so that it could be on the table by 5 p.m., then anxiously waited an additional 45 minutes while weeding outside and stewing until I was at the peak of my crankiness.
I realized my irritation was my own fault- for expecting too much, and for wanting to have my cake and eat it as well. Some changes would have to be made. The family dinner on Tuesday night would have to be nixed. I would have to drop 'A' off at the Oma's, and go to painting 'group' with a packed lunch. I felt guilty to Nicole for always being late. Some compromise would have to be made. Dinner just wasn't enjoyable when I was ranting to Alex about my unmet expectations for the day.
My painting at this point has become solid, and has crossed many barriers. Finally, after three to four weeks of a failed portrait, I finally got it right. Had I not succeeded in the proper aesthetic for the portrait the entire painting would have been ruined. Last week we had the 'aha' moment where we (Dallas, Nicole and I) decided that the dead space would be filled with upside down aloe plants, thus making my current pieces more cohesive. These renderings on canvas turned out better than expected.
So last night my objectives were to decide on the color of the two-dimensional skirt, work more on Erica's portrait in the piece, paint the upside down aloe plants while leaving a good portion of them in their 'drawn' form, and work on the dreaded arm of Madelaine.
Nicole helped me to decide that the color I had changed the skirt to last week was a bit too green and that this must be changed- also it lacked the brightness it had last week. This was something that I suspected, however, hesitated to change because well... it would be better if it were just 'done'. In changing the skirt, I knew I had to also work on the arm as the arm lays against the skirt, and the foreground must be done with the background. I came to the realization that the color needed to be changed anyway because I didn't work on the arm with the last *skirt color change*. That was really amateur of me. Deep sigh.
Making big changes, especially at this point, and with flesh is scary. I believe though that making big changes creates success rather than coming to a point of stagnation with your work. I made necessary changes to the arm, and consequently worked on the 2d skirt. I used a lemon yellow, cadmium yellow, white, and raw umber this time rather than black. I think I also used a naples yellow, and some added other mixes from my palette. The hand however now has problems. In the end I couldn't face the painting. I looked to Nicole and asked if it was done, hoping that it was just that I had looked at the hand too long. Unfortunately, she thought it was not done, and looked a little to dark, and little too strange. She told me to lighten a middle finger, and something else. I haphazardly threw some light colored paint onto the spots she pointed out hoping these random, spontaneous brush strokes would miraculously change things. They didn't. We laughed as I turned for approval with wide eyes right after I made them.
I decided that I would pray to the art gods for the right answer on what I should do regarding this hand issue. That seemed to work for the portrait I had so much trouble with. I noted though, that the art gods are much slower than I would like for them to be when it comes to getting from good to beautiful.
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