Small Revelations

I have gone back to my watercolor ways. In the far past, somewhere around 1996, I took my first college painting class which was Watercolor I. I then moved on to oil and have stuck with that medium feeling that it worked better for me and also that it was superior. Today however, many artists are using acrylic and experimental mediums to create mixed media pieces. I don't really feel like oil is superior anymore, rather that it is just very different.

I have continued to work with acrylic paint for my small aloe studies- I have about four done, and three more on the burner. I'm really quite obsessed with them. Sometimes I find myself asking why I'm even am using this crappy plastic paint: It dries really fast and gets all glue like in the lids that I have been using as my palette, it's near impossible to mix enough color for a background, and it just doesn't look the same as oil. And yet, I am finding it to be different and challenging in a way that sort of makes me want to conquer the medium. I've used acrylic before, but I feel like this is more of an intensive study with it.

I don't think that my paint or the way I handle it can look like Benjamin Pierces, however, the paintings are looking like my works with oil, and in a way I feel that you almost can't tell that they are done in acrylic. A painter that I admire named Fred Stonehouse only uses acrylic for his works which look like they are done in oil. He says that in order to make the acrylic look like oil, pretend that you are using oil paint. As I progress with my pieces, I've had some happy surprises. I'm starting to develop washes of thin layers of color, which dry very quickly so they can be worked on soon after they are laid down. (One of the major advantages of using acrylic) The subjects (aloe plants) are at times being created in this manner- where they are looking like they could be watercolor, or ink for instance. I have created some backgrounds with a simple translucent wash directly on wood, so that no surface is gessoed- I have discovered that the wood soaks up the paint much like watercolor paper and the subsequent layers of paint for the subject matter soak into the wood as well. This forces me to be quick about what I am doing, and to make mistakes that I may not necessarily be able to paint over. I can also draw directly on the wood with a pencil, pen, or ink pen. This forced deadline of the paint drying is causing me to work faster, and more abstractly as first thoughts about lines and impressions come into my head.

Initially, I started the aloe plants in black,white, and sometimes raw umber, intending to paint over them perhaps in oil with greens. However, I am liking how the black and white look against the colored backgrounds. I am really getting into the colors of them, and in many cases I am not happy with the initial color, so I lay a wash down after sanding the surface a bit, and that seems to be creating some effects that I am happy with- they almost remind me of Rauschenberg prints.

Regarding getting out and about- on Friday I went to a special alumni weekend show featuring Ben Shamback who I went to graduate school with. Ben was more of an acquaintance than a good friend- always working very hard, and if I had to describe him briefly I would say he was a 'painters painter' who is a contemporary realist. Ben had all still life pieces done in oil in the show which were mostly done on copper. What stuck out the most to me at this juncture of my painting life, was that although he is a nice guy, he didn't ask me a thing about my work or Dallas' work (who also attended the show) despite having about an hour long dinner with him. Another thing that was equally as perplexing was that he went on sabbatical from his teaching position for a semester and did nothing but paint for 8-9 hours a day where he learned just how to paint flowers. I looked at him with a furrowed brow and asked him about how he managed his (not one) but two children during this time. He explained that he always handled painting like it was a full time job. Well, there you go- how nice that he could do this! I guess I sound a little snippy here and spiteful, and I won't go on with a feminist rant... but right now there is just no way that I could do this, or would choose to...still I walked away a bit envious.

Solid

I found myself asking myself all week if it was Wednesday yet, and now here I am on Thursday wishing it were Wednesday again. This week has been very rough with my son not wanting to sleep in his bed. Somehow, he has found his way into ours- and quite frankly this nonsense has to stop. No matter how much we love him, I'm extremely uncomfortable at 27 weeks pregnant, my husband is 6' 4", we don't all fit in a queen size bed, and we just can't do this anymore. Alex was left to deal with the bed time rituals, then the throw down, followed by the screaming which has turned routine at this point.

Throughout the course of the week, I think I have settled on something solid for my small pieces. I am simply doing studies of aloe plants in a representational manner, half drawn, half painted atop a solid but wash like background of a particular color field. The pieces will have part or parts of the wood panel coming through, but to be honest, the pieces are nothing like I envisioned them- they definitely developed on their own, so to speak. The background of the pieces will have a dominant background color, and the intention is that when these small pieces are viewed together the colors of each piece will look harmonious as a whole.

I am thinking that there should be four background colors, and I have started with a red, a blue, and a violet. I worked to create some backgrounds, and did one study of one aloe during our time, feeling that in the end more needed to be added to the study. Nicole and I talked about a price point and what was selling. It sounds ridiculous, but small pieces for $95.00 are being sold at Chesterfield Arts. I asked Nicole- "Why don't I just put a price tag on them for $99.99?" She said that this is what is selling, and that people are buying multiples at this price point. The bottom line is that they really need to be quick but well done renderings that could possibly sell for a lower price, rather than the large pieces that I work months on that are intended to sell in the thousand dollar range.

Nonetheless, I felt happy working. I felt calm. My mind was centered and I was glad that I abandoned the smaller pieces with many different elements swishing about them in every which way. The aloe pieces were much more authentic to me. Now, the hard part is doing many, many more of them, and framing them, while concurrently trying to finish the large piece with the figures of all three girls. ('Wallpaper')

Nicole remained frustrated and felt she was in a bad spot, never getting anywhere. I explained to her that I wasn't exactly zipping along. As mothers we have so many other obligations and pots to stir. She is working on a large piece with hands and string, and decided last night that firstly, the hands were photographed in the wrong position and then secondly, when the execution of the hands on the board took place, she decided that one of the hands looked: a. like the 'Awakening' and b. was too centered. Still I feel that so many times it takes execution to realize that something is amiss- and in finding what we do not want, we are closer to finding what we do want.

I left groggy and so tired late at night, and could barely keep my eyes open for the ride home. I came home thankfully to a quiet house to find my son and husband both asleep on the floor of my sons room on the air mattress. It was sweet, however, this too is a situation that cannot last for much longer.

Small, Scattered, and Stressed

Friday through Sunday my husband was out of town for the MS 150 in Columbia which we ride in every year together. This year I couldn't go because I am 26 weeks pregnant now, and it is firstly, too risky and secondly, it is just plain uncomfortable. I rode only 10 miles two weeks ago and found out why you don't see many 6-7 month pregnant people on bikes- it hurts in several different ways.

On Friday the Oma watched my two year old, and I was able to go see Benjamin Pierces show at Concrete Ocean, which is a newer gallery off of Jefferson in the city. (www.benjamin314.com) I didn't really feel like going, as I didn't have a single date- every one of my gallery buddies were booked, and also because I just get tired in the evening. I did however, feel it was a bit necessary to go because I will be having a show there in just two short months. Mustering up the courage and energy to go alone was hard but I'm so glad I did. The show was beautiful and I consequently was inspired.

Ben is a local artist that shows nationally and is as humble as ever. He showed all very small pieces on wood panels that were part illustrative and part collage, where he let the wood panel show through in the finished piece. The thing that stood out to me the most thought was that the pieces were so eye pleasing although the subject matter was rather morbid at times. Bug like men with many different appendages stood out in my head, along with made up creatures that were half human, and half something extra- terrestrial. Their large heads would engulf words from found papers or stare at you with beady eyes. I wondered if he has done any illustration for childrens books.

I came home inspired and studied his website when my son went to sleep late into the rainy night. I decided that I needed to make small pieces as well for this gallery in an attempt to sell some work for them and also for myself. Every artist I know practically is doing this these days- making smaller pieces for the sluggish economy when their big pieces won't sell. This is just a fact of the market right now. All of my pieces I planned to show are large, and I felt a crunch. I thought that small pieces that would incorporate some of the elements that are already present in my larger paintings would be relatively easy to execute. I imagined my deer on a plywood landscape with snow and even thought about making small illustrations of the girls. I decided to use acrylic as I could work on the pieces daily- late at night and perhaps early in the morning.

My troubles started with what could have been disaster. I was working in our basement wood shop while my son was napping on Saturday to cut small pieces and a thin but long piece of plywood kicked back directly into my abdomen. This has never happened to me before, but it did that day, and it couldn't have happened at a worse time. It hurt like hell, and I was in shock. I had to gather some breaths and cried in the bathroom a bit- contemplating what to do before I called my husband who was on his bike ride.

Alex told me to go straight to labor and delivery and that he would give them a heads up on my arrival. I showed up with red eyes after waiting for my niece Madelaine to come over and watch Anton who luckily was still asleep.

They put my belly and baby on the monitor for two hours and everything was fine, thankfully. My sister in law (who is also an obstetrician) stayed with me for my stay there. That uterus is very, very strong and I realized how nature, or God, whichever term you choose to go by- makes such a perfect and protective environment for the most important things in life.

By Sunday though, without my husband I was a complete wreck after what had happened and doing all the mom things alone, and was having a hard time maintaining any level of cleanliness around the house. I was going nuts and needed to catch up and get some 'me time'. I cancelled going over to the Omas for a Sunday evening family dinner which I felt I just couldn't handle. By that time I just wanted to stare at the wall for an hour without interruptions rather than rush around to get to a dinner for three hours when so much needed to be done in my house and with my work. That conversation with my mother in law did not go well at all and I felt she just didn't understand me nor did she know what I needed.

Regarding the small works, they are definitely off to a slow start and so far I don't like them that much. They are harder than I realized they would be and are taking way more time, which is always the case. I don't want the work to look like Bens, and I'm not sure if they feel authentic enough at this point- illustrating the figurative aspects of the work is so far a bust. And, I am wondering why I am messing around with acrylic- I hate it.

I plan on bringing them in tonight for painting group to give them a shot in another environment. They will be much easier to tote around as well.

I went to pre-natal yoga last night for the first time ever as I can never go because my husband is not home in enough time for me to make it. I hired a sitter to cover the time span in between when I leave and he arrives. That was another revelation I had this weekend- that I needed some more help other than the help I have which has its limitations to say the least. I felt like crying in yoga a couple of times. Tonight I scheduled a pedicure at 4 p.m. and plan to get that done before I head off to painting group where I will have have everything packed in the car ahead of time. Today is Alex's half day so we are almost back to sanity...

Wallpaper

Did I say that I was really excited to work on a background which incorporated wallpaper or tapestry? That was insane.

Painting group convened on Wednesday finally after many cancellations. Nicole worked on putting a new wood surface on a stretcher, and Dallas taught the first class of the new painting session in the adjacent room. I felt we didn't really have momentum, although I managed to get a start on a wallpaper background. The background came from a tapestry I had that I used in my last photo shoot with the girls last winter. The tapestry is very busy and vibrant, so I simplified the image as much as possible.

I had the initial drawing laid in of the three figures and had done some work with the portrait on the seated figure of Erica. I felt I wanted or needed to start laying in the background just to see how it would look. I'm sure there are better ways of doing this, however, I took a picture of the tapestry, and used tracing paper to copy the image or a likeness of it. I then used black pastel on the back side of the tracing paper, and re-copied this image on the canvas. I chose the smaller of two images I had and getting them all laid out on yet again another separate grid was work for my brain.

Even so, there was such monotony to this type of work that was maddening and addictive at the same time. I started painting a violet-red large flower in the pattern that stood out. My plan was to consistently work on this pattern bit by bit as I worked on the rest of the piece (i.e. the figures) as working the entire painting up at the same time is important. The background also is just as integral as your points of interest and can make or break a piece.

Nicole liked the piece right off saying that the pyramid composition was expected but worked. I gave a slight twist of the mouth to this. Dallas gave me the 'very interesting' comment in a fake Chinese accent which means that he is 'doing' Victor Wang saying the painting is very interesting. That was his only comment, however, I know this really means he is jealous and would never give me a real compliment. We do this to each other, and usually throw in some backhanded compliment to each others work anyway.

The two proceeded to question the accuracy of the seated figure concerned that the head and torso were too small for the legs. I gave them the photograph for reference knowing that a photograph can be distorted and that you cannot use this solely for reference. After measuring and comparing the actual piece to the photo they determined after much contemplation that everything was accurate according to the grid. I worked on my wallpaper diligently painting my pattern, but noted that I questioned the ratio of the upper body to the lower body as well. The thought is still in the back of my mind that this may be a little off. I will have to let the figures sit with me a while longer, and perhaps modify the lower extremities a bit- going more on the leaner side with them for the rest of the painting.

Dallas did note that the portrait of Madelaine reminded him of that guy from Los Lobos, whoever that is. And, then I thought she looked a bit like Jimmy Smits. These black and white under- paintings are just initial renderings made for composition that are not solidified at all yet- right now I'm trying to decide to paint more detail in the forms in black and white, or to go ahead with flesh tones.

Drawing Group: 9-2-2010

Thursday Night Drawing Group: my first thought when I saw the model was that she really couldn't be any more bony. I think I've actually rendered her with more substance than she actually had. I got to drawing group about a half hour late, which is fine, however, it takes me a while to set up and my goal is to get there before the group starts the next time I go, which will hopefully be next week.

Still, even with my late arrival, I found a perfect spot. Most everyone draws sitting at tables or drawing horses, but I always stand, and have to move a table or two to the side.

I have been choosing the more complicated vantage points where there is a lot of forshortening, and choose the view that is most interesting to me. I made several adjustments on the initial drawing before even starting to shade the three dimensional aspects. What was most interesting to me were the sketchy line renderings of the pillows along with the figure, oddly enough. I focused mainly on the form not attempting to complete the drawing and the portrait as I didn't have time really, and also the models face was so sharp and bony that I just wasn't receiving the right inspiration for finishing the portrait.

I did try to rough in some features, however, this didn't really work, so I erased out a lot of the vine charcoal which is apparent and made some lines around the skull and face indicating where the features would be.

In the end, I feel like I expounded a bit on a line drawing that took quite some time to solidify, and didn't get much shading accomplished. Then again, I think most of my drawings turn out this way. Nonetheless, I was happy to be present and always get so much out of going to drawing group.

third and final finished result (picture) to be the next post.