Torn

Nicole has cancelled painting group indefinitely due to feeling torn between work and family obligations. She felt she wasn't spending enough time with her kids, which I completely understand. I am trying to work diligently for my show which will be on November 12, however, the work must be in on November 7.

I have changed gears a bit and decided after a meeting with Bryan Pease, who is the gallery director at Concrete Ocean, to concentrate on finishing these small studies of aloe plants that started after I saw Ben Pierces show. I don't think I will have time to finish the wallpaper piece- lets be realistic here... and I would love to do a few more pieces in this abstract grid/color series. It would seem I am all over the place, however, there is a method to my madness. After meeting with Bryan, I discovered that he wanted more pieces at a lower price point. I understand that gallery owners need to keep afloat, and I would like to sell more work as well at this juncture.

The contractor has started on our garage, and we have a foundation poured which is very good news. The timeline for its completion is around two months from when they started which puts us right around mid- December when our baby is due. I will have to pack and move my current studio out of the home, and put my things into storage after my Nov. 12 opening and move my son into the current studio room in order to make room for the baby. I'm actually getting close to wanting reprieve from painting/work in order to concentrate on the home a bit and get things ready for the new baby and Christmas. Shopping for the holiday will need to be done, the tree, etc. all before the arrival of our little deadline on December 15. It will be a whirlwind holiday this year.

The aloe pieces are coming along, and Alex has started working on the wood for their framing. In order for me to spend more time working on painting, he has offered to take over the framing aspect of the 'project'. I work on backgrounds, and then a study or two, then more backgrounds. The backgrounds will sometimes have several layers. The colors of individual pieces are intended to look harmonious together when viewed as a whole. Coming up with a color palette for these works together has been harder than I imagined it would be. The studies themselves are (of course) taking more time than I think they should which is usually the case. All of the aloe plants are done in black and white acrylic, and they are looking a bit like drawings/paintings/watercolor pieces. Generally speaking, I think they are getting better as I go, however, I have a couple that I plan on discarding.

My thoughts are that I need to conjure up a few more of these baby paintings, and call it a day. My fear is that none of them will sell and I will look bad at the show for not even selling lower priced work. My other fear is that the pieces together as a whole will look too busy or like a color rainbow. I've been meaning to tone down my work, not go up a notch in regard to color.

This said, I plug on the best way I know how, attempting to balance family, home, Halloween, pregnancy, marriage, and art... my husband my constant advocate in helping me to achieve my goals.

Closer To Fine

I walked into painting group to find Nicole working in clay, covering a cardboard paper tube. She said: "I'm doing a craft project tonight... wanna make something of it?" For some reason, this was hilarious to both of us- just her manner and the two of us together made something funny. She was making a pumpkin totem pole where several pumpkins were to be stacked atop each other. She went on to be completely absorbed in her clay while I updated her on current home affairs...

For several months Alex and I have been on a roller coaster regarding building a new studio/garage in our back yard. We need room for the new addition that will be arriving to our family December 15, and I need to move my studio out of our third bedroom. Initially, we tossed around the idea of moving, deciding in the end that we wanted to stay in our neighborhood and that we wouldn't get a fair price for our home if we sold. I walk everywhere in our little historic area, and ultimately decided that being in a subdivision would be the end of walking and the end of me.

From there, it has been one hurdle after another. The estimate from our trusted contractor (I'm being serious here- we do trust him) was about double what we thought it would be. Consequently the issue of money arose and we have been doing everything possible short of selling the new baby in advance (any takers?...kidding) to come up with funds for our 'Taj Ma Garage.' Yesterday, when my husband came home he told me that he just didn't think we could do it, as we were having trouble getting a certain amount of funds in the form of a loan. We were intending to pay off this loan at the end of the year, however, it didn't look like it would happen. I got really cranky because I just felt it would manifest and I could see a vision of the garage in the yard with my studio on the top level, and a workshop on the bottom. I couldn't stomach the idea of putting all of my work into storage for 'the kids'- essentially. Thoughts arose such as: 'how valid is my work anyway...' or 'how much money am I really making to justify putting everything on the line for this...'. Many of our family members have the opinion that investing this kind of money into a house that will never sell for what we put into it, is absurd and that we should just move into a subdivision like every other family in St. Charles.

I listened to my husband make the phone call to the contractor to tell him the bad news. Previously, I even asked if maybe Alex could just tell the contractor to go ahead and we would come up with the money by Christmas. In other words, I asked if he would think about lying to him or white- lying to him about the funds we had. Alex was upfront and honest and told him the situation as I waited for one last possible hope. I gave up control and told Alex to do what he thought was best, because I trust him implicitly when it really comes down to it because somehow he always does the right thing.

Our contractor came through for us, and told us he could finance us at the rate the bank gave us for a couple of months. Now we just have to pray that we will in fact have the funds we are expecting at the end of the year. We hate to do things this way, however, we feel it to be necessary when our baby is arriving in about 10 short weeks.

I decided that I should work on my large painting, 'Wallpaper' in order to get more serious about things. It seemed so much more natural than working in acrylic and I made some good initial progress. Once again, I felt that I faced many challenges with this painting but still I pressed on. I have a lot of ground to cover, and portrait work to do that I am not completely confident about at this point.

Dallas' class was at a bare minimum of three people- two of them being regulars. Still CA was abuzz with the clay class, and Dallas coming in and out to share his thoughts. He commented that at any art show he never really remembers the artists statement or the concept of the work, but only the work. I find this to be the general truth as I am more of a visual person anyway. Yet, I remarked that I think that concept helps the artist more than anyone else- i.e. it has a self- serving objective.

Then I added that, "Well... maybe you can't tell what the artists objective/concept is usually just by looking at the work, except for maybe in the case of my work..." (i.e. of course that I am the exception). Dallas gave me the look that said, 'ah...no'. I then asked, "Well, what would you think (regarding concept) if you saw my work...painting after painting of the same two girls together in each one?"... Nicole looked at Dallas and immediately said, "Lesbians".

Okay, I left myself open for that one...