For several months Alex and I have been on a roller coaster regarding building a new studio/garage in our back yard. We need room for the new addition that will be arriving to our family December 15, and I need to move my studio out of our third bedroom. Initially, we tossed around the idea of moving, deciding in the end that we wanted to stay in our neighborhood and that we wouldn't get a fair price for our home if we sold. I walk everywhere in our little historic area, and ultimately decided that being in a subdivision would be the end of walking and the end of me.
From there, it has been one hurdle after another. The estimate from our trusted contractor (I'm being serious here- we do trust him) was about double what we thought it would be. Consequently the issue of money arose and we have been doing everything possible short of selling the new baby in advance (any takers?...kidding) to come up with funds for our 'Taj Ma Garage.' Yesterday, when my husband came home he told me that he just didn't think we could do it, as we were having trouble getting a certain amount of funds in the form of a loan. We were intending to pay off this loan at the end of the year, however, it didn't look like it would happen. I got really cranky because I just felt it would manifest and I could see a vision of the garage in the yard with my studio on the top level, and a workshop on the bottom. I couldn't stomach the idea of putting all of my work into storage for 'the kids'- essentially. Thoughts arose such as: 'how valid is my work anyway...' or 'how much money am I really making to justify putting everything on the line for this...'. Many of our family members have the opinion that investing this kind of money into a house that will never sell for what we put into it, is absurd and that we should just move into a subdivision like every other family in St. Charles.
I listened to my husband make the phone call to the contractor to tell him the bad news. Previously, I even asked if maybe Alex could just tell the contractor to go ahead and we would come up with the money by Christmas. In other words, I asked if he would think about lying to him or white- lying to him about the funds we had. Alex was upfront and honest and told him the situation as I waited for one last possible hope. I gave up control and told Alex to do what he thought was best, because I trust him implicitly when it really comes down to it because somehow he always does the right thing.
Our contractor came through for us, and told us he could finance us at the rate the bank gave us for a couple of months. Now we just have to pray that we will in fact have the funds we are expecting at the end of the year. We hate to do things this way, however, we feel it to be necessary when our baby is arriving in about 10 short weeks.
I decided that I should work on my large painting, 'Wallpaper' in order to get more serious about things. It seemed so much more natural than working in acrylic and I made some good initial progress. Once again, I felt that I faced many challenges with this painting but still I pressed on. I have a lot of ground to cover, and portrait work to do that I am not completely confident about at this point.
Dallas' class was at a bare minimum of three people- two of them being regulars. Still CA was abuzz with the clay class, and Dallas coming in and out to share his thoughts. He commented that at any art show he never really remembers the artists statement or the concept of the work, but only the work. I find this to be the general truth as I am more of a visual person anyway. Yet, I remarked that I think that concept helps the artist more than anyone else- i.e. it has a self- serving objective.
Then I added that, "Well... maybe you can't tell what the artists objective/concept is usually just by looking at the work, except for maybe in the case of my work..." (i.e. of course that I am the exception). Dallas gave me the look that said, 'ah...no'. I then asked, "Well, what would you think (regarding concept) if you saw my work...painting after painting of the same two girls together in each one?"... Nicole looked at Dallas and immediately said, "Lesbians".
Okay, I left myself open for that one...
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